A Giift to Myself

Good Morning Family;

I have started some morning practices that I want to share with you. Each morning when I first wake up I say Good Morning God, and welcome to my day. I then find my way out of bed to my office,where I spend time reading the daily devotional from my church in Oakland.I then take time to write in my gratitude journal something I am grateful for. Then I quiet my mind and meditate allowing God to speak to me. I have found that often I would pray to God,then busy myself with my day's activities, and wonder why I didn't get a response? After my meditation I receive a phone call from my prayer partner who says a prayer for me, and I say one for her. It reminds me that I am surrounded by love, and connected to everyone and everything. ALWAYS!!!!

After this I go down and start my daily walk to build my strength, and today it hit me. This is the gift I give myself each day. When I lived in CA I would wake up each morning and 4:30 AM and go to the gym. I would say to everyone I knew I want to start the day with me, and if something falls off at the end of the day it will be something other than myself. I realize today I had a hint of my awareness that I have today. I cannot share anything that I don't have. I cannot give peace, if I don't have it with in me. I cannot give Love if I don't have it with in me.

I was walking this morning and I realized this is a gift I am giving myself each day. I am choosing to LOVE me. I then realized that my body is a vessel and I get to choose what it holds. So many times in my life I have chosen to hold pain, anger, fear the list can go on. Today I know that I can choose at any time what I focus on, and in doing that I am attracting more of the same. It sounds so very simple, yet it took me 45 years to learn this easy lesson.

I began to think, in each moment if I were treating my loves ones the way I am treating myself right now would they feel loved? Would they want to be in my presence? Would they want a relationship with me? I am so full of gratitude today, for I know at this moment that no matter what live shows me I have the choice in what I see. I have the choice in what I say, do, and think.

Leaning to love myself is allowing me to love another.

I love you
Allen

Forgiveness

Forgiveness.

I was reading my daily devotional today, which was about forgiveness. It stated that 94% of Americans identify forgiveness as one of their central values. Yet only 48% say they have ever had a forgiving experience. That started me thinking.

Over this past year dealing with the cancers in my life, I really ask myself what is eating me? I can make this about cancer or I can look at where in my life I allow things to eat at me. What injustice was I holding onto so much that I was unwilling to let go of it? I took the time to look at my life and see those relationship that had energy around them and ask myself is this worth holding onto, or am I willing to let this go? I begin to see a pattern in my life of holding on to past hurts and taking it so personally. One of the many books I have been lead to read this year states "don't take it personally" it's not about me. So often I would take on the energy of some one else's stuff. How is that serving me? I realized that I was allowing it to eat me alive. I will state again that this is my personal journey.

Having discovered my pattern I begin a forgiveness campaign. This was for me, and about me. I wanted my life to be clean and clear of resentments, hurt, pain, and even hate. I know today that there is a season for all emotions, I found myself choosing to stand in one place with some of the things in my life. Forgiveness allowed me to move on. One of my favorite saying is "with one foot in the past, and one in the future I am totally missing the PRESENT."

I also discovered it was all about fear. Fear of being hurt, taking advantage of, you fill in the blank. I no longer wanted to live my life in fear, or hatred. The choice for me was forgiveness. I began to call folks, email folks, talk with folks and tell them I didn't care what had taken place in our lives that was unimportant. I wanted them to know that I love them and that was all that mattered to me today. I felt my heart begin to breathe, and love could once again flow freely. When I talk with people about this last year with cancer, I tell everyone it has been the best year of my life. I mean that. The relationships with my family,and friends are rich and current. I didn't want to wake up, or for that matter get to heaven and say, I wish I had done this or that. I wish I had told who ever that I loved them.

Forgiveness allowed my heart the freedom to love again. My purpose in life is to LOVE. I can't do that if I am tied to the past or the future. The greatest gift I have given myself is to be happy, and forgiveness.

This time of year causes many of us to think about what is the perfect gift for who ever. Perhaps forgiveness is the answer, one size fits all, and it is always the perfect fit.

I Love You
Allen

I am the Light

Good Morning Family

My Dominate Intent today is to LOVE.

I have been sending emails, letters, and cards over this past year talking about choice. Each day that I am given, I have a choice what I do with it. Am I living my purpose, am I loving with all of my heart? Am I Happy everywhere I go? I love looking at little children they are so full of LOVE. Everything to them is an expression of excitement, even anger. They do every activity with every bit of energy they have.

Today, I ask myself, do I do the same? Do I live each moment with all the fullness that life has given me? This last weekend I had the pleasure of doing a play shop about Loving. I learned a great deal about myself, and how I live my life. I am reminded of a quote credited to Nelson Mandela which states,

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I know today that I have been given a style all my own. I need to live that, and embrace it each day I am alive. I was reminded this weekend that so many others are set free to be themselves when I live at full LIGHT!!! Sometimes I would not wear an outfit, or say something because I was afraid of how it might be perceived. Or perhaps someone would say something that would hurt my feelings. Don't take it personally, it is not about me at all. I am the light, showing others the way. Within each of us is the light of God call it what you will, just live it.

Remember the best gift you can give anyone is to be Happy. The rest is up to them.

I love you
Allen