Forgiveness

Forgiveness.

I was reading my daily devotional today, which was about forgiveness. It stated that 94% of Americans identify forgiveness as one of their central values. Yet only 48% say they have ever had a forgiving experience. That started me thinking.

Over this past year dealing with the cancers in my life, I really ask myself what is eating me? I can make this about cancer or I can look at where in my life I allow things to eat at me. What injustice was I holding onto so much that I was unwilling to let go of it? I took the time to look at my life and see those relationship that had energy around them and ask myself is this worth holding onto, or am I willing to let this go? I begin to see a pattern in my life of holding on to past hurts and taking it so personally. One of the many books I have been lead to read this year states "don't take it personally" it's not about me. So often I would take on the energy of some one else's stuff. How is that serving me? I realized that I was allowing it to eat me alive. I will state again that this is my personal journey.

Having discovered my pattern I begin a forgiveness campaign. This was for me, and about me. I wanted my life to be clean and clear of resentments, hurt, pain, and even hate. I know today that there is a season for all emotions, I found myself choosing to stand in one place with some of the things in my life. Forgiveness allowed me to move on. One of my favorite saying is "with one foot in the past, and one in the future I am totally missing the PRESENT."

I also discovered it was all about fear. Fear of being hurt, taking advantage of, you fill in the blank. I no longer wanted to live my life in fear, or hatred. The choice for me was forgiveness. I began to call folks, email folks, talk with folks and tell them I didn't care what had taken place in our lives that was unimportant. I wanted them to know that I love them and that was all that mattered to me today. I felt my heart begin to breathe, and love could once again flow freely. When I talk with people about this last year with cancer, I tell everyone it has been the best year of my life. I mean that. The relationships with my family,and friends are rich and current. I didn't want to wake up, or for that matter get to heaven and say, I wish I had done this or that. I wish I had told who ever that I loved them.

Forgiveness allowed my heart the freedom to love again. My purpose in life is to LOVE. I can't do that if I am tied to the past or the future. The greatest gift I have given myself is to be happy, and forgiveness.

This time of year causes many of us to think about what is the perfect gift for who ever. Perhaps forgiveness is the answer, one size fits all, and it is always the perfect fit.

I Love You
Allen