New Year Eve

December 31, 2006 (Personal Journal)

Good Morning God.

The last couple days I have been in a place that I thought were sadness. I couldn’t quiet put my finger on it. I feel so blessed and happy. I have been really thinking a great deal about my friendships. The not knowing what was going on with one of my friends,was weighing heavy on my mind. Not so much their actions, but instead asking where does this show up in my life.

I was really hurt that my friend took themselves away from me, but when I thought about the fact that I too have done this. I begin to focus more on their needs than mine. This was not an easy task. I am grateful today all the same. Thank you for the growth. Last night when I was on the way to the choir party, I took the time to call my friend and tell them that I loved them.

I don’t understand why I chose to feel separation when I know that in God there is NONE. When I stepped into that realization the hurt vanished. I could just love my friend no matter how it looked right now. I also realized it was FEAR. Fear that I thought I couldn’t count on them. Fear of being alone and in need, once again I felt the hand of God and know that I am NEVER alone.

I have been clearing out my closet and home of things that no longer serve me. I am so abundant. Thank you God. Thank you for the reading in the living the Science of Mind. What great life lessons are there for the living.

Allen

12/31/06 Email to my family

I rejoice at the wonder of life’s adventure. Regardless of outer circumstances I know there is an inner reality that exudes peace, love, and understanding.

Hello Family;

I read the Science of Mind reading for the day and this affirmation really touched me. For it put in words how I am feeling in my life at this moment. The last couple day's I have spent thanking God for the Abundance in my life in the form of YOU!!! Perfect Love, Perfect Faith, and Perfect Prayer. Last evening the Men's choir sang at the Kwanzaa Celebration at the Church. It was so beautiful, I love when I get to see the Oneness that is. I am reminded often that I look at the outside first and then look with in. I think this the very human side of my existence. It is times like last evening when I stand with my brothers that I see only LOVE, LIGHT and ONENESS. God, thank you for letting me be a part of this group and the Mass Choir as well.

It was so good to see all of you at the Choir Party last evening. Thank you Monroe for your Hospitality, and for sharing your home with us. It, and you are beautiful. I don't know about the rest of you, but sitting around with a group of friends, sharing love is the greatest gift. I so enjoyed myself last night. I tell you all of this to remind myself to focus on LOVE, the gift of giving it ,and receiving it in return. To remember that no matter what it may look like at the time, it is ALWAYS present and in Perfect ORDER.

I encourage each of you at this time of year when you want to release, change, start fresh, one of the best places to start is at home. I spent this last week, looking at the THINGS in my life and asking "DO YOU SERVE ME, NOW?" If the answer is NO then it is time for me to release it. I bless it and gift it forward. Do this and watch what happens. It is amazing.

Thank you all for allowing me to LIVE my LIFE with you ONE day at a time. Thank you for Loving me NO matter what. Thank you for the GIFT of YOU and the JOY of knowing Each of you.

Your Brother, Friend

Allen Mosley

Christmas Day - 28 Meeting with Oncologist

December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas God and Happy Birthday Jesus.

What a great day to be alive. Thank you for getting me up this morning and having use of my body and joints. Thank you for Richard and his visit, and just letting him be here with me. It is great God.

I got up and called Lori to sing her Happy B day. I wonder if she knows how lucky she is to have the same birthday as Jesus? We talked for about an hour. That was nice. Ernest called me always there and always so loyal. I love you Ernest .

Called my Mom and Dad so good to hear their voices as well. God I am such a blessed man, I still have my parents and they are still together. What a testament to you.

Waiting for Richard to get up so we can talk about what we are going to do today. Thank you for being here my friend. I love you.

What a great day to be alive.

Thank you God.

12/28/06

Good Morning Family;

The Oncology day finally arrived and all the test are in. Drum Roll Please!!

Lymphoma is the answer that we all knew, however the great news it looks like it is a mixture of Large and small cell. From what Dr. Knopf stated yesterday he feels that Chemotherapy with be able to take care of totally. The best news of the day is that the bone marrow biopsy came back showing NO SIGNS of cancer at all. That is a major PRAISE GOD!!!

I wanted to share a God Moment with YA'LL. As you all know I had Surgery last week on Wednesday, I love you Dr. Rust. It was a total success, and the incision looks amazing. I was in the Dr. office on Friday for a check up and to have the drain tube removed, he stated that he didn't want me to start Chemotherapy for at least 2 weeks. I said OK. I was then able to go home rest thanks to all the wonderful TLC of my friends. I got up Sunday morning and sang in 2 services at the EBCRS, then came home and rested once more. This is all less than 7 days from the surgery. Not that all of this doesn't show God working, here is how God shows up right on time.

As I mention The Oncologist met with me yesterday and told me that I would have to be on Chemotherapy, it would be a very strong dose, but every 3 weeks. He wanted me to start TODAY, I then told him that Dr. Rust wanted me to wait a couple weeks. We finally agreed to start on the 2nd of January. Due to the level of patience on Chemotherapy the first opening is January 10th. I know that the hand of God is divinely guiding me with every breath that I take, I love it when I am aware enough to see it. The first available time is exactly 3 weeks from the Surgery the exact amount of time the Sergeant told me I needed to wait before starting Chemotherapy. I love you GOD, and I love Divine Order.

I will be taking a total of 6 drugs some pills some Liquid, for those in the Medical field here you go.

1) Rituxan

2) Cyroxan

3) Oncovun

4) Dioxonbicin

5) Prednisone

6) Neulasta

Number 1 through 5 are called a Chop- R I don't have a clue why but they are. And the first session will take about 6-8 hours to load in my system. The last Drug is to help with my white blood cells and my immune system. I will also continue the Drug Atripla as well. I will be going this next week to have a Colon check up to make sure my colon is in Great condition.

After 3 sessions of Chemotherapy I will have another CT Scan and check the progress.

Well, my friends that brings us all up to date. I want to tell you all how much I feel the love of every person in my life. Every bit of this reminds me each day to LOVE and LIVE. Please don't wait until tomorrow to tell those that you love, that you love them. Do it today.

Family, I want each of you to know and hear I LOVE YOU!! I will continue to tell each of you every time I see you because I want to keep the Main thing the MAIN THANG!!

Thank you for your support and love.

Allen.

Dec 24 Church Service

December 24, 2006

Christmas Eve what a great day to be alive, I woke up this morning grateful that I am alive and get to sing today. All of my Scottish clothes come yesterday. God is always Right on time. It is funny how I had released the need to control when they arrived. Like clock work I go with Shawn to the Dance class, he wants to leave before it is over and we get to the post box just as they are closing. I went there for a package from my Mom some Goodies. Surprise Surprise I have my Kilt Jacket. Fits like a glove. Thank you God.

Got up Richard is still asleep so I took my medicine, vitamins and starting pressing my clothes. My neck is sore and tender. 4 days after surgery the fact that I am up and getting ready to go and sing. That is God in action. I am God in action today. I look great and feel great. I have my family with me; from the ring on my hand to the clothes I am wearing I have my history with me.

I get to church one of the first there, and Tyrone is so happy to see me. Bobby is so happy to see me. Everyone is so happy to see me. Gift shared a card for the choir, and the gift of being a GIFT of God. Thank you Gift.

We stand to sing and out comes the music. It is GREAT!!! I am so excited that I am singing today. Why? Just because I can, it is an honor, a blessing, a sign of my faith in God and knowing what I know.

Richard is here, Shawn has been around, and Antonio and Michael have been around. I feel God and see God everywhere I go. One of the Choir members didn’t know about the "Tant- So" (Cancer) and started to hug me and I had to say we have to be careful I had surgery. What kind? I told them and then they didn’t want to hug me. For the first time in my life, I got that wasn’t my journey. Thank you God.

What a blessing to know in the moment someone else's journey isn’t my journey. Rev E and Andrette were ON today in church. Thank you for being able to celebrate with them one more day. Thank you God for this day.

Amen

Christmas Eve

12/24/2006

Christmas Eve and it is time to go to church. I am so happy that Richard got here last night. I was really tired when he arrived. I had to go to bed and get some rest. My neck is hurting and sore a bit. My neck is good today it is swollen and a bit stiff. I am just so happy to be up and around after the surgery. I am going to sing a couple services and then come home and spend time with Richard. I gave him the onyx ring last night and he loved it. I really want him to have that. I got him a couple cards and a watch. I am so very happy that he is here.

I can’t wait to sing with the choir today. Yesterday all my Scottish Stuff came in. My new jacket and it fits great. My Sgian Dubh the knife for my hose came in as well. Talk about Christmas and timing. You know one of the things I have noticed the most in this process is just release, and God will deliver it right on time. Amazing. Thank you God.

Thank you for Perfect Health, Abundance, Love Friendship, Joy and so much more.

I release and let go. And So it is.

Day 20 Surgery BIG DAY

12/20/6

Hello to my wonderful family;

I want to share love with each of you this wonderful morning. I know that this day is a blessed day for I have each of you in my life. That is Abundance, and abundant blessing. Thank you for showing up as love, health, and perfect order in my life.

I am so excited about today, I get to see the Face of God in the hands of my 2 surgeons, all the nurses, tech. and hospital staff. Not to mention the fact that I have someone who loves me very much on every step of this journey guiding the hands of God as they work on me. You, in the many faces of God as you show up today.

Shawn for driving me to the hospital and picking me up, thank you. For each of you that take a moment to shine light over me as the Doctor's work on me. For the Doctor's who have no other way but to show up in divine order and in their oneness with God. I GIVE THANKS, today.

My, family it is a great day to be ALIVE, Celebrate with me the JOY I have for the opportunity I have to shine light on the goodness of God.

I love you

I have Perfect Health

Your Brother

and your Biggest FAN

Allen Mosley

also 12/20/6

Hello Family;

I am home from the Surgery! Praise GOD.

God showed off today my family, the Doctor's were able to remove the lymphoid with the largest Growth on it. Praise GOD!

I will have a drainage tube in my neck through Friday and I have full use of my facial muscles. Praise GOD!

My throat is a bit tender, but the Dr. said I can sing with no issue. Praise GOD!

I will be spending the night with a couple of my friends tonight and be home tomorrow. Praise GOD! Thank you Antonio and Michael!!!!

I feel every drop of Love and the oneness that we are. I am a blessed and happy man. Praise GOD!

Thank you all for your PRAYERS AND TREATMENTS.

Keep the love coming and know that I am returning it HEAPED UP, PRESSED DOWN, AND RUNNING OVER.

AND SO IT IS!!!!!!

One love

Allen

Day 10-14 Dec 15 Bone Marrow Biopsy

December 10- 14/2006

Trip to visit my family. It is funny to see how my vision and God’s sometime show up different. My Nephew picked me up from the airport and the next day I had a chance to meet my GREAT Niece and Nephew for the first time. What Great children and Jimmy’s Wife is a very Nice Woman as well. We talked about ways to change their home and work with the things they have. I love helping my family and friends.

Mom and Dad picked me up on the 11 and we drove back to Georgia. I am so very blessed to have my parents. Funny how I had hoped that my letter to my Dad would arrive before I did, God had a bigger and better plan. My Dad got the letter the day I arrived. I would never have thought I would enjoy watching him read the letter from me, however I must say it was a real treat. One thing I had to let go of, is what I needed and let it be just what it was. Seeing his face and knowing that he will keep it and read it from time to time will be something that will stay with me forever. Lesson learned RELAX and enjoy what God has for me.

My family and I went out to eat on the 12 and it was so funny to see how different we are. I can talk to a rail as my Mama would say and my brother Glenn is this quiet gentle man. My sister is this light of love. I look at us sometime and I think where did I come from. So very different, my brother lives about 10 minutes from my mom and my sister about 15. I on the other hand live on the other side of the country. They have family in the traditional sense and I have family of choice. Both equally blessing and all our needs met. Thank you God. My Dad carried me to see my Aunt Judy, one of my all time favorite Aunt's while I was growing up. She was the song leader at Church when I was a young boy and I love to hear her sing. So good to see her and know that she is happy. Thank you God.

On the 13 my Aunt Dovie came out for a visit. It is so good to see the love my Dad has for his brother and sister. They are so very close and of course my Dad takes care of them all. Such a strong quiet man, my brother is more like him day by day. My Dad's mom was this strong amazing woman, and I really wish I could have known her in the flesh growing up. Everyday I got to see who she was in the form of my Dad. Hard Working, STERN, and always pushing you to do your best, today I know Loving also. My niece Mareen and my sister in law came over to show me my niece’s art work from School and she gave me a painting. God you just keep showing up as abundance everyday. I love you for that and so much more.

On the 14 my Dad, Mom and my sister drove me to the airport to catch my flight home. On all 4 flights I was in the front row seating, on southwest that is GOD in a major way.
On the flight from Nashville to Oakland I sat beside this really cool man from Raleigh, NC. He was born in CA and lives in NC and I lived in NC for 10 years and now live in CA. We are both in the right place. I was able to share with him about my Trust walk with God. He gave me his card and told to me visit he and his family next time I was in NC.

Arrived home and took the Bay Porter home, It was so very nice to be HOME. I love my home and I am so blessed to have this as my home. Thank you God.

What a great visit, and the knowledge that Family comes in so many forms.

I am blessed.

December 15 Bone Marrow Biopsy

Family;

I want to say PRAISE GOD!!! I had the bone Marrow biopsy today and it was a piece of cake. So happy that I have GREAT doctors and, that they keep me informed of every step we are taking. The Surgery is scheduled for the 20th to remove part of the growth in my neck. This will allow them to know the next step in my TRUST walk with GOD.

I had a great visit with my parents and they send their love to all of you. I had some great food and a great deal of LOVE from my Birth family. They are much comforted by the fact that they have seen many of you in action. They also respect the fact that I want to take this journey with GOD. I know that I have their support as well as your.

I meet with the oncologist on the 27th to discuss when the chemotherapy process begins. I will keep you updated on the process and the many ways GOD is showing up in my life.

This is how good GOD IS, I woke up at 3:00 AM on the 2nd of December and I felt spirit tell me I needed to visit my birth family. My first thought was wow LOTS of Money. Spirit said trust. With less then 7 days notice round trip ticket to GA was $234.00. God at work. I met with the Oncologist the next day, and the surgery couldn't be scheduled until the 20th. Wow how God moves when I listen.

Thank you for the LOVE, Support, Prayers, and TREATMENTS!!!

I love you All

Allen

Day 9 Doctor clears me for surgury

December 9, 2006

Tomorrow I go and visit my folks and I am really excited to see them. I really want to spend some time with my Dad and make sure he knows how much I love him. He has been having a really hard time with all of this. I am reminded that Choice has a great deal to do with how I look at things in the world. Yesterday was a full day of treatments, from the blood draw, dentist, Dr. visit , to the CT SCAN. I was reminded when I look for the face of God that is what shows up. Thank you God.

Avery, James and Mag Pie are here for a visit so I get to show them around today and visit with them before they go back to LA. It has been so good to see them. They are coming over this morning and I am going to give them one of my paintings. I want them to have a piece of who I am.

I found a couple more lumps in my abnormal area, I just know that means that the "Tant SO" is a fast growing kind and that means the Dr. will be able to treat it with great hast.
I am very grateful for that as well. I have been feeling a bit tired and get a bit fatigued after a day out, but I am resting when I need to and going on with my day’s activities.

I got up this morning and cleaned up the house a bit before my travel and looking forward to the trip I get to see my nephew and family tomorrow night. Then Mom and Dad come and pick me up on Monday.

I feel really good today, and it is a great day to be alive.

Thank you God.
Allen

12/9/06

Hello family;

I am moving right along in my PERFECT HEALTH, yesterday had a meeting with my regular Dr. was cleared for the surgery on the 20th to remove tissue for the Oncologist, so we can begin treatments. I also had blood work done and I am praising God for the good news that will be coming from those. Had my full body CT Scan, which the technician stated that they got some GREAT PICS of my INSIDES. Praise God for that as well.

It was a great day yesterday, I was reminded that CHOICE has a great deal to do with how we look at things. I made the choice to see and feel love in every Dr. visit, blood draw, CT Scan that I had the honor of doing yesterday. Guess what showed up? GOD in every face, every smile, every prick or poke. For that and so much more I just give thanks and praise.

I want you all to know just how close I am holding you all as I travel and I am reminded that there is no space and time and that I am with you always. Thank God for that. Sing like the angles you are and if you listen really close you will hear my voice singing with you.

Be blessed and know that I am feeling the love of GOD and each of you every moment of everyday.

Peace and Blessing

And SO IT IS!

Allen