February Journal

2/1/07

Hello Family;

I am just home from Chemotherapy, and I am full of gratitude. God, shows up everywhere I look. Today was a great day my friend David drove me in to the city this morning. Thank you David. My blood count continues to show up as God in PERFECT order no flags as they say. They are very impressed, and I keep telling them it is the only way it can show up.

The LOVE JUICE needle went in with the first try and I started the infusion around 10:00 AM and finished up around 3:00 PM. Thank you Lisa for bringing me home and blessing me with your company. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful friends-family in my life.

I will see you all at Church on Sunday the 10:00 AM service for sure. Off to get some rest now, and enjoy the healing flow of GOD in my veins.

Thank you for your treatments and PRAYER, I love them and I LOVE YOU!!!!

Your brother and friend

Allen


February 08 2007 (Personal Journal)

I woke up this morning with knowing that with growth comes change. Getting the news about my benefits was a day in which I chose to live in fear. Today I know that I don’t have to it is choice. Before me are several options right now and I am not even there yet. God is busy working behind my back as Rev E would say and busy looking at yesterday’s news.

I have an expectation for Good and Very Good so that is what much show up if I am looking for it. And I am.
Being that I have this expectancy can anything stay the same? Or does change have to happen. I have been asking for a home, a place to call my own, that means I have to move from here. If this is happening soon that means that my home can only be that much closer. Try God and see. I talk about faith in my emails is that what everyone is seeing our fear? It is all a choice.

This is a change to pay off my debt, clean up my life and prepare for a better day ahead. Just as when I go to Church I get to clean up, put on my best for God. That is what I am doing in my life. Cleaning up for God. What is my best friend getting to see each day Faith or Fear? Not because I am hiding either, I don’t want to hide any more I choose LIFE. With life comes Change and movement. Thank you God for the happiness this morning, for movement in my bones and in my life. Only Good can go from me and return to me. I want to send out and email today.

2/9/07

Good Morning my Family;

I come to you with a JOYFUL heart this morning, why because I choose too. I see choice in God and I know that only Good can come to me and from me. This week getting the news about the end of my full pay at work which will bring with it change. As does every event, today I know that I make choice so easily most of the time. It is when I step into fear that I choose not to move and have my being. Today I can tell you the only thing I see differently than over the last few days is Choice.

The love I have and do receive is amazing, the love of my parents is far greater than I have ever felt it. The journey that I am currently on with my Dad is worth every step of this process. Talk about friendship, the friends that are taking time off work to come out and spend time with me. The endless phone calls, singing, laughter, joy and LOVE that I feel washing over me is wonderful and I thank you all for every bit of it.

The HUGS, that have always been there, I get to feel them now. This is my journey today, to be alive, to be free to have choice and love it. I feel clean in my life right now and I feel God clearing out any thing else that doesn't look like Good one step at a time. Does that mean I want choose to look at this with fear again, I don't know the answer to that? What I do know is that I have the Love of my family to support me, love me, hold me, and show me another way.

I want each and every person who reads this today, tomorrow, next week, or whenever to feel the LOVE of God going from me to you and back again. A Circle, perfect in what I send out is just what I get back. One of my favorite saying is just pour LOVE on it, like you do when you have pancakes and syrup on Saturday morning, and you get to the end of the pancakes and the joy of syrup is still there.

Thank each and every one of you for all the Love and support I feel. I am grateful today for this journey with God, and YOU!!!

Always

Allen


(A email from my friend Lisa)

Greetings Choir!!

In honor of our beloved Allen, I am raising money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society as a participant in their Team In Training and I'm asking you to help by making a contribution. Each donation helps accelerate cures for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma and brings hope to the patients and families who are on the front lines of the battle against these diseases.

Please use the link in this email to donate online quickly and securely. You will receive a confirmation by email of your donation and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation.

We know this is in God's hands and it is already complete!!!

You can learn more about my efforts and make a donation by visiting the following Web site:

http://www.active.com/donate/tntgsf/withGodshelp

February 23/07 (Personal Journal)

I choose Love. It is 2:00 AM and I am awake and feel the need to journal. Yesterday when Paul and I got home from chemotherapy there were several cards from my Mom, and Dad's church. Some of them have giving me money which is such a blessing and I am so grateful for. The greatest gift I have been given in this journey is my Dad.

I have always known that my Dad loves me no matter what has happened. I have chosen pain at times, finding out that when I chose pain it shows up. You know I would never choose to have cancer... but; if it had to happen i am so very happy for the wonderful treasures it has given me. My faith in God, my willingness to let others in, and the love of my Dad in a way I have dreamed of all my life.

Thank you God for this journey where I get to choose what I take from it. I can choose to look at the pain, the discomfort, being sick most of the time to a point I don't want to get out of bed. If I do that will show up. Because that is where my focus would be, however, if I choose Love Peace, blessings then that is what shows up.

God thank you for the cancer, I bless it, and release it. Thank you for the journey in letting others love me. Having Paul, Richard, Ernest, Wayne, my parents, and countless friends from around the world show me love in so many ways. Thank you.

Here I am God send me.
Allen